My first job at the ashram

Soon after arriving at the ashram, I was given my first job. I was asked to chase monkeys. Yes, chase monkeys. It instantly occured to me that I now had a new job description to add to my resume. Meditation Teacher, Arabian Horse Photographer, Computer Consultant on Wall Street and now Monkey Chaser. At an ashram, everyone does seva (selfless service) and chasing monkeys is just one of the many forms that seva can take. Actually, chasing monkeys is very important because there are zillions of them. Basically, we are living in their home and they make us pay for it. I was one of a band of four intrepid monkey chasers along with three new German friends. My best weapon of defense againt the wily critters was a water pistol. Monkeys hate water and just aiming the day-glo orange water pistol at them was enough to make they run for high heaven.



The monkeys travel via the tops of the ashram walls, which serve as super highways for them. Sometimes you see twenty or thirty of them traveling together. The father monkeys are the biggest. Some of these alpha males get to be pretty large and they can be tough. The mothers often have their young clinging beneath their stomachs, holding on for dear life.



While the monkeys can be cute, they can also be a nuisance. They have to be chased away from the Dhaba because they'll steal the food right off your plate if you aren't careful. They are fast too. Leave your plate unguarded for a minute and your pancake, chapatti or banana is history. One friend was reading the newspaper one morning with a plate of bananas sitting on the table behind the paper. Suddenly, he dropped the paper and saw a big male monkey right in front of him holding his bananas. The friend was so terified that he flipped over backwards in his chair and the monkey took off with the bunch of bananas.



Once a monkey takes something, you don't ever want to try to take it back. Once something is there's, it's there's. You don't want to mess with a mad monkey.



Sometimes monkeys break into our room. If your apartment door isn't locked or closed tightly, watch out. One day, Tara and I were studying and suddenly I heard Tara shriek. I looked up and saw a tail sticking up over the dresser. At first I thought it was the friendly cat that sometimes comes to visit. Then it reared up on its hind legs and I saw a big male monkey standing just inside our door. The thing about monkeys is that they are very crafty and really brazzen. Our visitor was casing out the apartment, looking to see if there was any food he could grab fast and make a speedy getaway. I picked up a pillow and started yelling but he just stood up as tall as he could, opened his mouth wide and snarled at me. That's their way of saying, "I'm tough so don't mess with me." He was probably trying to buy some time, in hopes there was something he could snatch. All it took was my threatening to throw a pillow and he beat feet fast. Another day of adventures with monkeys.